The Most Challenging Year Of My Life – so far.

Sep 27, 2019 | Previous Blogs | 13 comments

Today, September 27, 2019 marks the one-year anniversary of my divorce, my “divorceaversary”. The day my divorce was final last year, I didn’t post a meme on Facebook or Instagram that said Please join me in celebrating the end of my marriage”, with a photo of Leonardo DiCaprio in a tux, holding a glass of champagne, winking into the camera as if it were a day to celebrate.

My ex-husband was my best friend for 23 years and my divorce was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. Launching my blog on this date wasn’t my initial plan, but the timing worked out to go live on the 27th and seemed fitting since we were married on June 27th.

 

In the matter of one year, I lost my husband of 14 years, two amazing 4-legged kiddos of 19 and 17 years, my house, my hair, and my job.

I had been with my ex-husband since I was 17 and I honestly felt like my world was over when we separated. We grew up together in rural Kansas, went to prom together, went to college together, then moved to our dream state of Colorado and had the most amazing wedding in the mountains. To think it would end 14 years later in divorce was not in my plan, and I’m a planner!

The stress of our unexpected, yet imminent, divorce caused my hair to start falling out 3 months after our separation. I will never forget the day I slunk down in the shower crying while I was holding a handful of my hair as more washed down the drain around me. 

I don’t have human children, my dogs are my kiddos. Lexy was my Jack Russell terrier, she had been with me since I was 20. She passed away just shy of turning 19 a few months after our separation. My first and only tattoo is of her paw; I love looking down and seeing her tiny toes on the top of my foot.

Holi was was my Shih Tzu, the most chill dog you would ever meet . To lose two so close together in the middle of a divorce was like another stab in my heart. How much more loss was I going to have to endure?

After several months of processing all of the above and finally starting to have a few more good days than bad then, wait for it, I lost my job of almost 13 years that I had poured my heart and soul into. Okay, time to cue the violins. In all seriousness, just remember to never say, “it can’t get worse”.

So why am I writing a blog? To cry about all my woes and expect strangers to feel sorry for me when there are bigger problems in the world? No, it’s because I wanted to give a different perspective on how someone who has gone through hard times, and still has them, can sometimes be more comforting or easier to relate to than a self-help book from a professional who seems to have it all figured out.

Don’t get me wrong, I have learned a lot from self-help books and I am grateful for my ongoing therapy sessions. I also know that during my healing process I have learned a hell of a lot from myself, creating my own “recipe”. Taking bits and pieces from books, blogs, therapy, but also digging deep inside myself, staying strong when I thought it wasn’t possible, and not giving up.

No one is ever going to have a life free from setbacks or struggles of some sort. I am still dealing with my losses, I still cry and I still feel pain. I have been through ups and downs, the grieving process many times and a roller coaster of emotions. 

I’m navigating through life and wanted to share my story and my healing journey along the way in the hopes of helping even one other person. When I contemplated writing a blog I thought, “Who would even read it or follow me?” Then I realized, even if one person does, then that’s ok. If my experiences and my thoughts can comfort just one person, I’m okay with that.

I don’t have things all figured out. In reality, no one does. Not your friends or family, your life coach, your therapist, or even the authors of the self-help books. We all just have our own experiences and our own guidance to share that people can take or leave. This is your life, you get to make your own recipe.

After reading my first post, if you choose to follow me on my journey, maybe we can figure this life thing out together. Even on your bad days…just remember, You Got This!

XOXO~

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13 Comments

  1. Carlos Solorzano

    Thank you so much for opening up and being vulnerable Jasmine. Whether you have it all figured out or not, and even though you still have hard days a year later, I hope you realize just how amazingly strong you are! To be standing up tall after so many sequential heartbreaks and to see them as opportunity to help other out instead of getting lost in the darkness…words can’t describe the strength and compassion in your heart!

    I’m truly honored to follow you in this journey of healing 🙂

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you Carlos!

      Reply
  2. Jenni

    You are such a strong & amazing person!! ❤️

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you Jenni! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Jan Henry

    You are brave and so strong. I admire your openness and will love following your journey.
    Love and prayers,
    Aunt Jan

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you! *HUGS*

      Reply
  4. Blythe

    Life is a journey and not about the destination, but it stinks when you are enduring a bumpy part of the journey!

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Oh so true!

      Reply
  5. Nicole

    Jasmin, I have always admired you and reading this has just made me even more convinced you are one amazing soul. Thank you for sharing and for being you.

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you so much Nicole! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Lori Pinkerton

    Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone. Especially with the hair loss. I’m over 2 yrs separated and nearing a settlement/divorce. I’m losing my long hair rapidly, I’ve lost retirement funds, my beloved cat, my home, my married friends and gratefully still have my job but it has been hard to maintain focus. I’ve remodeled a home, had a bat fly in my face and a rat in my attic! I’ve had numerous costly unexpected new home issues and on top of that my husband of 35 yrs was having sex and fun with his mistress of 9 months. All living within a mile of my house. So I feel your pain and I hope for a brighter future soon! I now know what depression really is and find myself on the emotional roller coaster too. I’m blessed with good friends, a therapist that helps me with perspective and supportive parents. No more overcompensating and being a Mom to my wasband. He was my best friend too and I miss many things, especially enjoying time together with my 20 yr old sons. Life has to get better and I’m trying to stay positive as life unfolds. The weekend lonliness is hard. I need single friends or a RESPONSIBLE man to enjoy time with eventually.

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      You are doing all the “right” things Lori! Having a network or people, therapy, and looking forward. Our experiences in life mold us and help us grow, even the challenging ones that cause grief and sadness. Through the dark times, it’s amazing how we can dig deep into parts of ourselves we didn’t know, to emerge even stronger (or STROFTER, check out that blog). You Got This Lori!

      Reply
  7. Jasmine Rice

    Thank you!

    Reply

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13 Comments

  1. Carlos Solorzano

    Thank you so much for opening up and being vulnerable Jasmine. Whether you have it all figured out or not, and even though you still have hard days a year later, I hope you realize just how amazingly strong you are! To be standing up tall after so many sequential heartbreaks and to see them as opportunity to help other out instead of getting lost in the darkness…words can’t describe the strength and compassion in your heart!

    I’m truly honored to follow you in this journey of healing 🙂

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you Carlos!

      Reply
  2. Jenni

    You are such a strong & amazing person!! ❤️

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you Jenni! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Jan Henry

    You are brave and so strong. I admire your openness and will love following your journey.
    Love and prayers,
    Aunt Jan

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you! *HUGS*

      Reply
  4. Blythe

    Life is a journey and not about the destination, but it stinks when you are enduring a bumpy part of the journey!

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Oh so true!

      Reply
  5. Nicole

    Jasmin, I have always admired you and reading this has just made me even more convinced you are one amazing soul. Thank you for sharing and for being you.

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      Thank you so much Nicole! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Lori Pinkerton

    Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone. Especially with the hair loss. I’m over 2 yrs separated and nearing a settlement/divorce. I’m losing my long hair rapidly, I’ve lost retirement funds, my beloved cat, my home, my married friends and gratefully still have my job but it has been hard to maintain focus. I’ve remodeled a home, had a bat fly in my face and a rat in my attic! I’ve had numerous costly unexpected new home issues and on top of that my husband of 35 yrs was having sex and fun with his mistress of 9 months. All living within a mile of my house. So I feel your pain and I hope for a brighter future soon! I now know what depression really is and find myself on the emotional roller coaster too. I’m blessed with good friends, a therapist that helps me with perspective and supportive parents. No more overcompensating and being a Mom to my wasband. He was my best friend too and I miss many things, especially enjoying time together with my 20 yr old sons. Life has to get better and I’m trying to stay positive as life unfolds. The weekend lonliness is hard. I need single friends or a RESPONSIBLE man to enjoy time with eventually.

    Reply
    • Jasmine Rice

      You are doing all the “right” things Lori! Having a network or people, therapy, and looking forward. Our experiences in life mold us and help us grow, even the challenging ones that cause grief and sadness. Through the dark times, it’s amazing how we can dig deep into parts of ourselves we didn’t know, to emerge even stronger (or STROFTER, check out that blog). You Got This Lori!

      Reply
  7. Jasmine Rice

    Thank you!

    Reply

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  1. There is no pill to cure loneliness | Good Things Are Gonna Come - […] Where It All Started […]

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