Of course it’s to be expected I was sad going through a divorce, and it wasn’t just the weight gain, but the sadness in my face made me not even recognize who I was.
I put on my workout clothes and told myself I was going to go for a run. But before I went, I snapped a photo in the mirror to capture this person I no longer recognized.
That day, not only was I determined to transform my body again [for me – one one else], it was the day I decided I was ready to put in the work to start transforming my mind, my soul, my heart and to work hard on taking those steps to start living a happy life again.
Transformation and real change take TIME. Transforming your body doesn’t happen overnight and neither does transforming your mindset.
Transforming yourself after a challenging life transition or transforming your body are similar, they both take consistency and patience.
What are the obstacles standing in the way?
• Lack of self-belief: If you don’t believe you can do it, you won’t. You have to change the way you talk to yourself, change the way you look at yourself and change the way you think about yourself. If you don’t believe you can do it, it won’t happen. Even if you have doubts, SAY IT OUTLOUD, once you start hearing yourself say it, over and over, it’s easier to start believing in yourself.
• Comparison: STOP IT! I have said this time and time again, stop comparing yourself. Stop comparing your life story, stop comparing your journey, stop comparing your body. Your metabolism is different than someone else’s, your body is different than someone else’s, your divorce is different than someone else’s, your life is different than EVERYONE else’s because it’s YOUR life! Stop comparing it to others, just stop!
• Accepting you can’t change the past: You can’t go back and change the past. So, you put on 20 pounds during COVID, ok…now what? You can either keep it or if you choose ,you can work at losing it, but you can’t change the fact you are now 20 pounds heavier. You lost your job, it happened, you can’t change it. Once you learn to accept what has happened, you can then choose to move forward and start the next chapter, or you keep re-reading the one you’re in. It’s your choice.
• You are scared to fail: Walking into the unknown is scary! Why put in the work if you are just going to fail? Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is not easy. But who cares if you fail?! Failure is not a bad F word! You are going to learn from it, learn what to tweak and modify and then you use that knowledge to keep going.
• Patience: If you expect transformation to happen overnight, you are going to be disappointed. Change takes time. You see results after you put in the work. Sometimes results take weeks, months or years. If you do go on a juice cleanse and see quick results, the chance of gaining weight back quickly is pretty probable. Sustainable change comes from putting in the work each day, consistence. (Disclaimer, I’m probably the most impatient person I know…this one has been a challenge for me but take it from me, it’s the truth)!
I am 5’2 and I weigh 150 pounds. I’m never going to be a size 2 and I am FINALLY (at 42) ok with that. I’m proud of the physical transformation I’ve made after my divorce to get my body back to a place where I feel good physically.
Could I be a smaller size, yep! But I like to have balance in my life and pizza is too important for me to eliminate forever! I do have some personal physical goals I’m still working towards, but they are for me, no one else.
I actually don’t hate that first before photo of me because of my body. I might have weighed a bit more than the government says I should, but if I was truly happy in this picture, then who gives a fuck if I’m a little squishy. The problem was, I was not happy. It was not just with my body, it was with what was going on inside my head.
Even though I’m proud of the transformation above, I’m even more proud of this photo below. The transformation that you can’t see because it’s on the inside.