“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

–Ferris Bueller

Growing older has its benefits, including the ability to reflect on the past, learn from experiences, appreciate the choices made, and embrace whatever the future holds. This entails accepting the fact that we can never predict what lies ahead.

Reflecting on my early years, I fondly recall my ninth birthday, where I celebrated with my family and friends in a luxurious Tucson, AZ house, enjoying a pool party. I remember playing Marco Polo and laughing, the German Chocolate cake my mom made, and then later in the night seeing U2 for the first time on MTV singing “With or Without You”.

Years went by, and my thirtieth birthday was one for the books. After a thrilling two-hour white-water rafting adventure, I paused to savor the moment. I closed my eyes, basked in the sun’s warmth on my face, took in a deep breath of the crisp Colorado air, and felt the breeze on my wet hair. It was a moment of serenity that I will never forget.

As I turn 43 this week, I have been pondering the past four decades and the occasional feeling of being stuck in my 20s or the harsh reality of aging.

I have often wondered if I could go back in time and talk to younger Jasmine, what I would say? What advice I could give myself?

43 Things I ‘d Tell My Younger Self:

1. Be yourself!
2. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
3. Don’t be afraid to fail.
4. You can’t take back words, choose them wisely.
5. Fear of being abandoned makes you hold on way too tightly. It’s okay to let go.
6. Take things one day at a time.
7. Rejection is sometimes redirection.
8. Work hard but remember to take breaks.
9. Slow down.
10. Not being OK is OK. Being positive is great, but it’s also OK to be in a bad mood, from time to time, just don’t stay there too long.
11. Be Kind, to others AND yourself.
12. Self-care is more than bubble baths. Taking time to practice self-care is not selfish.
13. Forgive, holding on to hate just hurts you in the long run.
14. Take risks.
15. Run, exercise, move your body as much as you can, one day you won’t be able to, don’t let today be that day!
16. Travel and spend your money on experiences not things, you can’t take that dress with you when you die!
17. Listen to your intuition.
18. You’re going to fall down, sometimes it will hurt, but get back up.
19. Cry, it’s healing.
20. Laugh, like a lot!! Multiple times a day!
21. Map out a 5-year plan and then at the top write, BE FLEXIBLE AND TWEAK AS NEEDED!
22. The grass is greener over there because they fertilize with shit!
23. Stop worrying about the future, today is today.
24. That is not for you to figure out today, that is for future you to figure out.
25. Follow your passion.
26. You aren’t alone, even if you feel alone.
27. Money is NOT everything.
28. Always take time for yourself, even if you are married and have kids, remember to take time for YOU, don’t lose yourself in your relationships.
29. Saying no is OK!
30. Don’t compare yourself to others, your journey is your journey.
31. Treat others as you want to be treated.
32. Dance and be silly, life is too short to give a shit what other people think. Maybe they’ll even be inspired by you!
33. You are stronger than you know, but don’t let it harden you.
34. Being soft doesn’t mean you are weak; it’s finding a balance.
35. Some people are just crappy people, don’t spend your energy trying to change them or “get back at them” just move on.
36. Sometimes being uncomfortable is exactly what you need!
37. Believe in yourself. You can do a hell of a lot and more than you think.
38. Tell the people you love that you love them.
39. Being spontaneous can be fun!
40. Life is hard, it gets easy then, it gets hard again, but then it gets easy again—it’s a cycle.
41. You are going to learn a hell of a lot more in the next 22 years than you did in the first 22!
42. Listen to your heart, your head, AND your gut—one isn’t always right. However, if something doesn’t feel right—it’s probably not right.

While I was writing this, a thought occurred to me: “What if I had access to this list when I was 22?” I realized that I probably would have made different choices back then, and as a result, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So, why would I want to rob myself of those experiences by giving myself this advice?

The truth is, there’s only one thing I would tell my 23-year-old self: “Jasmine, I can’t give you advice because every experience you have will shape you into the amazing woman you’ll become.”

The list I’ve created is for my 43-year-old self, not my 23-year-old self. It’s important to learn from every experience we have along the way, even the mistakes we make. Life is a journey full of challenges and triumphs, and it’s up to us to embrace it all.

Remember, You Got This! 

XOXO

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