“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

–Ferris Bueller

Aging is often depicted as a relentless adversary, stealing away our youth and vitality, but it hear me out – it has its perks. It allows us to reflect on the past and gain wisdom from our experiences; appreciate the choices we’ve made, and welcome the future with open arms. Although we can never predict what lies ahead, we can embrace the uncertainty with a positive outlook. 

Every year my birthday nears, I reflect on my life. The first birthday I remember was my ninth.  It was a dream come true, and I was filled with joy and excitement. We were poor, but my parents had a connection and we got to celebrate my birthday in a huge house in Tucson, AZ with a gigantic pool! One of the happiest birthdays of my life!

I vividly remember playing Marco Polo with my loved ones, indulging in my mom’s heavenly German Chocolate cake, and staying up late to catch U2’s electrifying performance of “With or Without You” on MTV. The thrill of the celebration was infectious, and I was grateful for the cherished memories that I hold dear to this day.

Time flew by, and before I knew it, I had hit the milestone age of 40, but my life was not going as planned or how younger me thought it would be going.  I was going through a divorce, leaving me alone to face the world. For the past year, I had been dreaming about my 40th birthday party, I knew that no one was going to organize a party for me so I planned on throwing my own. But it never came to fruition.

I tried to make the most of the day spending time with friends over dinner and even scheduling a fun-filled 40th smash-cake photoshoot. Despite my attempts to enjoy the day, the loneliness and disappointment weighed heavily on me. As the night drew to a close, I returned home, opened a bottle of wine, and let my tears flow, thinking of my younger self and what she would think of me. 

Now, as I turn 44, I find myself pondering the past four decades and the occasional feeling of being stuck in my 20s or the reality of aging. If I could turn back time and impart some hard-earned knowledge to my younger self, what advice would I give? What pearls of wisdom would I share?

44 Things I ‘d Tell My Younger Self:

1. Be yourself!
2. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
3. Don’t be afraid to fail.
4. You can’t take back words, choose them wisely.
5. Fear of being abandoned makes you hold on way too tightly. It’s okay to let go.
6. Take things one day at a time.
7. Rejection is sometimes redirection.
8. Work hard but remember to take breaks.
9. Slow down.
10. Not being OK is OK. Being positive is great, but it’s also OK to be in a bad mood, from time to time, just don’t stay there too long.
11. Be Kind, to others AND yourself.
12. Self-care is more than bubble baths. Taking time to practice self-care is not selfish.
13. Forgive, holding on to hate just hurts you in the long run.
14. Take risks.
15. Run, exercise, move your body as much as you can, one day you won’t be able to, don’t let today be that day!
16. Travel and spend your money on experiences not things, you can’t take that dress with you when you die!
17. Listen to your intuition.
18. You’re going to fall down, sometimes it will hurt, but get back up.
19. Cry, it’s healing.
20. Laugh, like a lot!! Multiple times a day!
21. Map out a 5-year plan and then at the top write, BE FLEXIBLE AND TWEAK AS NEEDED!
22. The grass is greener over there because they fertilize with shit!
23. Stop worrying about the future, today is today.
24. That is not for you to figure out today, that is for future you to figure out.
25. Follow your passion.
26. You aren’t alone, even if you feel alone.
27. Money is NOT everything.
28. Always take time for yourself, even if you are married and have kids, remember to take time for YOU, don’t lose yourself in your relationships.
29. Saying no is OK!
30. Don’t compare yourself to others, your journey is your journey.
31. Treat others as you want to be treated.
32. Dance and be silly, life is too short to give a shit what other people think. Maybe they’ll even be inspired by you!
33. You are stronger than you know, but don’t let it harden you.
34. Being soft doesn’t mean you are weak; it’s finding a balance.
35. Some people are just crappy people, don’t spend your energy trying to change them or “get back at them” just move on.
36. Sometimes being uncomfortable is exactly what you need!
37. Believe in yourself. You can do a hell of a lot and more than you think.
38. Tell the people you love that you love them.
39. Being spontaneous can be fun!
40. Life is hard, it gets easy then, it gets hard again, but then it gets easy again—it’s a cycle.
41. You are going to learn a hell of a lot more in the next 22 years than you did in the first 22!
42. Listen to your heart, your head, AND your gut—one isn’t always right. However, if something doesn’t feel right—it’s probably not right.
43. It’s no one else’s job to make you happy. That’s on you love!

While I was writing this, a thought occurred to me: “What if I had access to this list when I was 23?” I realized that I probably would have made different choices back then, and as a result, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So, why would I want to rob myself of those experiences by giving myself this advice.

The truth is, there’s only one thing I would tell my 24-year-old self: “Jasmine, I can’t give you advice because every experience, whether good or bad, will shape you into the amazing woman you’re meant to become. Although some moments may be tough, remember that leaning on others and taking time for yourself is a part of the journey. There’s no advice that can replace the lessons you’ll learn from your own experiences, and trust me, you’re pretty badass already. Keep learning, growing, and being grateful for each day, even the hard ones.”

As for my 44-year-old self, I’ve learned that it’s important to embrace every experience, even the ones we may consider mistakes. Life is a journey full of challenges and triumphs, and it’s up to us to learn from them and keep moving forward. I’ve found that practicing gratitude, taking care of my physical and mental health, pursuing my passions, building meaningful relationships, and embracing change has helped me along the way.

Remember, You Got This! 

XOXO

If you’re seeking guidance and support in your own transformational journey, I’m here to help. As a transformation life coach, I specialize in empowering individuals to overcome obstacles, discover their true potential, and live a fulfilling life. Whether you’re facing personal challenges, seeking career clarity, or looking to enhance your overall well-being, I offer personalized coaching sessions tailored to your specific needs.

Take the first step towards transforming your life. CLICK HERE to learn more about my coaching services and schedule a complimentary consultation. Together, we can unlock your inner strength and create the life you truly desire.

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