“Sometimes you just need a good cry. Even if you don’t know the reason you are crying”
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I was looking for something to do while I was on my first solo vacation after my divorce, I saw a sign that said, “Have drinks with the stars”.
Intrigued, I read on. It was an advertisement for the local cinema in Stow, Vermont—a very tiny theater that only shows three films at a time.
A Star Is Born was recently released and I had heard good things from my friends, so I had a winner.
I’m not quite sure why I thought that would be a good movie to watch one-month post-divorce, but I wasn’t always thinking rationally during that time.
I purchased my ticket, ordered a drink at their bar, and made my way to the small room that held maybe 50 red velvet seats.
As the film was about to begin, two women sat a few rows behind me and that was it—just the three of us. Basically, a private show.
I won’t ruin the movie for you if you haven’t seen it, but let’s just say the tears were flowing. My quiet cries turned into sobs by the end. I still sometimes wonder what those women thought as they heard me.
When I got to my car, I felt better. I couldn’t really explain it other than saying, “I needed a good cry today.”
Why do we say that? “I just need a good cry.”
Well, it’s because crying is actually healing.
A 2014 study found that crying has a self-soothing effect on people.
The study explains how crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps people relax.
Tears during emotional crying have a chemical composition containing higher amounts of prolactin, which differs from other types of tears.
Not only does crying detoxify the body—you are releasing hormones when you have an emotional cry, which can help improve your mood.
“Have a good cry, wash out your heart.
If you keep it inside, it’ll tear you apart”
Why watch movies about divorce when you are going through divorce? Well, it can be a part of the healing process.
When you Google movies about divorce you tend to get the same movies over and over:
- Kramer vs. Kramer
- Eat Pray Love (Great book too)
- First Wives Club (I LOVE the last scene)
- Mrs. Doubtfire (You’ll cry, but laugh too)
- Under the Tuscan Sun
- Hope Floats
All great movies, however, I had a different list I wrote about.
Movie #1: The Breakup
Movie #2: Definitely, Maybe
Movie #3: Love Actually
Movie #4: Marriage Story
Movie #5: Cast Away
I might have stumped you with that last one. However, think about that movie for a moment. Can’t divorce or a serious breakup be compared to a plane crash on a desert island? We are hurt, feel alone, and are figuring out how to survive?
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In my opinion, the belief that we need to hold it all together when we are going through a challenging time is bullshit!
Crying not only helps a broken heart, it can help heal, shame, disappointment, frustration, sadness, anger and emotional tension—oh and helps clear dust out of your eyes.
Cry it out—let those hormones flow! It’s not going to “fix” everything, but there is a 99% chance you will feel just a little better.
Remember, You Got This!
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