“Life is the result of the choices, every choice you make makes you.”
Do you ever wonder how life would’ve turned out if you had made a different choice?
There can be a paralysis and even fear in making big decisions in life—often leaving you to wonder if you are making the right one or made the right one.
- The decision to get married.
- The decision to have children or to not have children.
- The decision to leave your job.
- The decision to get divorced.
For better or worse—the choices you make along your journey are the ones that contribute to your personal growth. But if that is the case, then why can it be so hard to be at peace and trust the choices that you made or will be making?
We often feel that our entire identity is tied to the choices we made. If things go “right” or are easy, we applaud our choices. But when life is not going the way we want it to, or expected it should have—we can slip into regretting our choices, obsessing over alternatives or even compromising on an upcoming decision out of fear of making another “wrong” decision that will leave us unhappy.
But what if I said you should stop viewing your choices as right or wrong?
Tips on making peace with your choices
- Take your time. Do your best to not make an impulsive decision. Sit with your options. When one decision feels more accepting than the other, sit with that choice for a little bit longer. Honor the feelings that are brought about and reflect on why you are feeling those feelings. Happiness, sadness, anger are normal feelings when making a big life decision. Even if the choice leaves you feeling sad, it doesn’t mean it’s not the right one.
- Trust your…? Exactly! You don’t always have to go with your gut instinct. It’s impossible to know if it’s your heart, your head or your gut that you should listen to. My suggestion, listen to what is strongest and then look at #1 again.
- Go with it! Don’t keep changing your mind. If the choice you make is a mistake, so be it. You can deal with that later. If you have looked at #1 and #2, then for now listen to what is strongest and go with that. If you keep changing your mind, you are never going to make a decision.
- Reflect: If the choice has already been made, reflect on why you made the choice in the first place. Your decisions at any point are based on your values at that particular stage in your life.
When it comes to making choices, sometimes there’s a clear winner. But other times, it can feel like a crapshoot.
No matter what, you can’t predict the future. After you make your choice, more information may come to light. Instead of thinking, “I should have made a different choice,” trust in yourself that you made the best decision you could at the time with the information you had.
If you find yourself wondering how things might have gone if you’d made another choice, or you are still confused on which choice to make, remember that in many ways there is no such thing as a bad decision, all options teach us something.
If you are troubled by a past decision and often wonder, “what if”, keep in mind there is no rewind button. Practicing acceptance and forgiveness is powerful. All choices have their pros and cons, and there is no way of knowing what unforeseen complexities might have arisen if you’d chosen the other path.
Take comfort in believing that the choice you made, or will be making, is the best option for where you are at in your life.
Remember, You Got This!
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