“How lucky I am to have had something that made saying goodbye so hard”

A letter to my sweet girl…

Dear Bailey,

When I met you at the shelter—skinny, scruffy red hair, and a beard that often got you confused for a boy.

You were shy and scared, but when you wagged your tail and looked at me with those big brown eyes, how could I not fall in love.

It was only meant to be a foster situation, but who are we kidding, “You had me at hello!”

You brought energy back into the house after Chase passed away and Holi and you became two peas in a pod. I know she acted like you annoyed her when you would sit on her head—but she loved you as much as you loved her, even if you did steal her chew sticks!

I had always wanted a running buddy and wasn’t sure if you would be up for the challenge. You sure were fast when racing your sisters in the park—but I didn’t know if you could go the distance. I will forever remember our morning runs. I didn’t even have to say a word, you saw the running shoes come out of the closet and you began whimpering and wagging your tail, ready to go! Your furthest run ever was a 10K, your little legs made it the whole 6.2 miles and I think you could have gone more! I was so proud!

I’m not sure I ever met a dog that loved food as much as you did! You lived for snacky snacks: cheese, Beggin Strips, Milk bones, or your favorite “Bloody Mary” sticks, you know the ones!

And you were the snuggliest dog ever! Sleeping curled up right next to me with my arm across you, waiting for me to fall asleep. Then you’d venture to the bottom of the bed because my tossing and turning annoyed you. But as you got older, you preferred your own bed next to mine—you liked your space.

And what dog has ever had more nicknames: “The Blayz”, “Crazy Chaze”,“Red Dog”, “Basil”, “Basil Chaysil”, “My Monkey”, “Sexy Red Head”, and of course, “The Austrian Blauzenchazin”. Because when someone asked what breed you were, a terrier mix was just too boring! You were a breed of your own, and now the Austrian Blauzenchazin’s are extinct.

These last 4 years have been challenging, and I’m so glad you were there with me to help me through them. I remember a night, a few days before Christmas in 2018 holding you, looking at the lights on the tree crying and you licked a tear off my cheek—you’d never done that before. It was as if you were telling me everything was going to be ok.

When you were diagnosed with diabetes 3 years ago, the day after Thanksgiving, you were not ready to give up. You took your insulin shots like a champ because you were so excited for the snack that followed it.

But the illnesses just kept coming—hypothyroid, infections, undiagnosed blood issues, vestibular disease, lung issues, seizures, a cataract surgery that went wrong—and then hearing, “It’s possibly cancer” recently from the vet.

But you just kept fighting and that tail just kept wagging. But your weight kept dropping and your little body just started to get so tired. I’m so heartbroken to let you go, but I know I have to. There wasn’t a cheek to lick off your cheek like you did mine, and even though my heart is breaking and it will take time—know I’m going to be ok.

I am so honored that I got to be your momma for the past 13 years and that you picked me. It’s time to go find Holi again and sit on her head.

I will forever think of you when I see a Bloody Mary on a menu, when I see a grate in a sidewalk that you would have walked around, when I hit the 6.2 mile mark when I’m on a run, sitting at a dog-friendly brewery without you on my lap, or when I use the monkey emoji on my phone.

Thank you so much for loving me and letting me love you. You were my best Buddy Girl and one of the sweetest dogs that ever walked this earth. You are taking a piece of my heart with you my love.

This isn’t really goodbye, it’s “I’ll see you later”. Rest now my sweet girl…rest.

Love You Always and Forever,

Your Momma

XOXO

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