Ditching Feel Good for Feel Real: Facing Life with Authenticity


“The pursuit of feeling good is not about chasing pleasure.
It’s about embracing life with all its ups and downs.”

#FeelGoodFriday. The inspirational phrase that you see on Instagram and Facebook, or written in the email sent out by HR on the last Friday of each month to get you jazzed for next month’s goals.

Yeah, that used to be my jam. Every week, like clockwork, I’d roll out another newsletter filled to the brim with positivity, gratitude, and all that jazz.

My transformation started about six years ago, right when my life took a sharp left turn as I found myself navigating the complexities of separation from my now ex-husband. In the thick of my sadness, I clung to inspirational quotes and feel-good messages, like they were rafts. It was either find the silver lining or drown.

Fast-forward to six months post-divorce, I was standing in the grocery store, trying to decide between crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce. And suddenly, I was crying. Not cute, sniffly crying. Full-on, ugly crying. Why? Over freaking canned tomatoes!? But it wasn’t about the tomatoes. It was about feeling so damn lost in my own life that even the simplest choice felt overwhelming.

That moment was a wake-up call. I realized that in my quest to stay afloat, I’d swung the pendulum too far. In my quest for healing my world became an echo chamber of toxic positivity, so much so that I began to drown out anything that didn’t sparkle with optimism. Let’s get real—life is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sure it’s beautiful but it’s also messy and hard.

So, I made a shift. I decided to embrace the whole spectrum of human emotion. The good, the bad, and the downright shitty. It was time to acknowledge that toxic positivity was just masking all of my other valid emotions. Life is too short to sugarcoat the truth or to pretend we’re all living in a perpetual state of #FeelGoodFriday.

The Illusion of ‘Feeling Good’

In a world bombarded with messages urging us to seek happiness, pleasure, and positivity at all costs, it’s easy to fall into the trap of chasing after feelings that feel good. Of course, we all want to feel good and there is nothing wrong with that, but the relentless pursuit of this state can often lead you away from the deeper, more meaningful aspects of your lives. It can become a distraction from the complexities and richness that come with fully experiencing life and of the emotions that go along with it.

The Power of ‘Feeling Real’

To feel real is to acknowledge and embrace the full spectrum of human emotions – joy, sadness, anger, fear, and everything in between. It involves confronting our truths, no matter how uncomfortable or challenging they may be. This path requires courage, for it leads us into uncharted territories within ourselves. However, it’s within these depths that we discover our authentic selves and develop a resilient foundation for personal growth.

Embracing the not-so-pretty parts of life is not a resignation to misery. It’s an act of rebellion against the notion that we should all be smiling robots. It’s a declaration that we are complex, feeling beings who don’t need to gloss over our reality to make it palatable for the masses.

Now I need to be VERY VERY clear—Yes, I am all about optimism, positivity, expressing gratitude and reframing your mindset to see things from a different perspective. But, if you get fired from your job, before you say, “Well, it wasn’t meant to be, I’ll find another one that’s even better”, go ahead and acknowledge that getting fired SUCKS!

I think it’s time we redefine what it means to feel good. It’s not about ignoring the pain or the struggle. It’s about facing it head-on, learning from it, and growing stronger because of it.

So, to anyone who’s tired of the sugarcoating, who’s fed up with the pretense, and who’s ready for something real—I’m with you. Let’s dive into the messy, beautiful reality of life, with all its ups and downs. Let’s stop JUST striving to feel good and also start feeling real.

I will continue to post the occasional #FeelGoodFriday post because I DO believe those encouraging messages can help someone who is struggling. But you’ll also see a mix in there as a reminder to keep it real. So, for today, #FeelRealFriday. 

Remember, YOU GOT THIS!



Jasmine Rice is a Transformational Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Best-selling author, and Founder of Good Things Are Gonna Come, LLC. With a passion for empowering others, she has dedicated her career to helping people shift their mindset, navigate and thrive during life’s complex transitions. Through her integrated coaching business and supportive community, she equips individuals with the tools they need to transform their lives and take control after periods of transition.

Schedule a FREE 30-minute clarity call with Jasmine below:

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1 Comment

  1. Mosetsana Nkau

    Thank you


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